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Awful Dad jokes!

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  • Awful Dad jokes!

    Little bit of fun, post your worst daddy jokes here

    The more groanworthy the better!

    Why can't you give Queen Elsa a balloon?
    Cos she might LET IT GOOOOOOOOO!!!
    PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

    "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Awful Dad jokes!

    Originally posted by slainte caragh View Post
    Little bit of fun, post your worst daddy jokes here

    The more groanworthy the better!
    My fella has the worst DAD jokes ever ... I'll post some up tomorrow (after the beers have stopped making my spelling worse than it already is lol)
    Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

    It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

    recte agens confido

    ~~~~~

    Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

    I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
    But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

    Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Awful Dad jokes!

      although:

      A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
      How do you make a tissue dance?



      you put a boogie in it!
      Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

      It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

      recte agens confido

      ~~~~~

      Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

      I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
      But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

      Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Awful Dad jokes!

        What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
        You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!
        PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

        "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Awful Dad jokes!

          I been perfecting my bread making skills all day!

          I've already done baguettes and bloomers.

          I'm on a roll now.

          - - - Updated - - -

          An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans including a southerner a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 to 53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant.
          .
          "I'm sorry," said the snooty maître d' "but you can't come in here without a Thai".













          Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

          It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

          recte agens confido

          ~~~~~

          Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

          I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
          But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

          Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Awful Dad jokes!

            Whats the difference between a soldier and a sailor?
            You can't dip a sailor in a boiled egg!!

            PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

            "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Awful Dad jokes!

              Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced? It had grater plans
              Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

              It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

              recte agens confido

              ~~~~~

              Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

              I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
              But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

              Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                Man locks himself out of his car, he tries everything but without the keys that are sitting in the ignition.. nothing
                I'm talking it's raining, I'm getting wet and I'm late for work screwed!
                Suddenly a soldier appears and says "I know what to do!"
                He rubs his leg up against the car door and *POP* they open!
                "That was incredible!" Cries the car owner "How did you do that?"
                Soldier smiles, points to his leg and advises "Khaki trousers!"

                ------------------------------------------------------------
                After a blizzard a farmer is devestated to see his cows all standing frozen solid!
                "I'm RUINED!" He cried,.
                An old lady smiled and said "Don't worry love, I know what to do!"
                She went and touched each cow and BINGO they were back full of the joys of spring!
                "That was amazing!" says the farmer as the old woman wandered off "Who was that incredible old lady?"
                "Oh didn't you recognise her? she was that actress..... Thora Hird!!"
                PLEASE NOTE: I work irregular hours including nights and sleep in shifts. If I have not responded in 48 hours, please ask an admin to Messenger me!

                "If you ever feel alone, remember, I am just the other side of the rainbow, or just south of the North Star. Whichever is closer." - A.J Murphy. 17/3/1974 - 16/03/1997 (RIP babe <3)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                  what do you call a Deer with no eyes?

                  No idea!!

                  (not quite a 'dad' joke ... this is from my 17yr old son )
                  Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                  It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                  recte agens confido

                  ~~~~~

                  Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                  I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                  But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                  Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                    Why are there no asprin in the jungle? Cos parrots et em all.
                    Last edited by seduraed; 8th April 2017, 13:49:PM. Reason: Spelling

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                      What happens when it's raining cats and dogs?
                      You step into a Poodle!
                      Never give up, Never surrender.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                        How do you make Holy water?

                        Boil the hell out of it
                        Attached Files
                        Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                        It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                        recte agens confido

                        ~~~~~

                        Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                        I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                        But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                        Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                          CAVEAT LECTOR

                          This is only my opinion - "Opinions are made to be changed --or how is truth to be got at?" (Byron)

                          You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.
                          Cohen, Herb


                          There is danger when a man throws his tongue into high gear before he
                          gets his brain a-going.
                          Phelps, C. C.


                          "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!"
                          The last words of John Sedgwick

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                            Have you heard of a Tupperware Bra?
                            It doesn't do much for your figure but it keeps what you have fresh!
                            Never give up, Never surrender.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Awful Dad jokes!

                              Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?


                              A barber.
                              Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                              It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                              recte agens confido

                              ~~~~~

                              Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                              I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                              But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                              Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                              Comment

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