Reference from an old employer

[chadman2016]

Hi All

Wonder if anyone can help.

I was off work recently for 5 weeks due to stress after losing my father and brother within a space of 4 weeks. I needed time to come to terms with the loss.

This was the only occasion of sickness at my current employer, and going even further back the first time in over 6 years that i had anytime off.

However during my time off work i would receive countless emails and calls asking questions about from my manager.

This wasn't what i needed at the time. When i returned to work i was made to feel like i had done something wrong by having time off. I made the choice to hand in my notice of which i leave on the 30th November.

I didn't want to work for a company that didn't care too much for what i had gone through.

They have said they will give me a standard reference, but i don't know what one of those will consist of.

Plus im concerned that any new employer will see my 5 week absence as a bad thing.

Can someone please offer some advice.

Thanks

[Celestine]

Re: Reference from an old employer

A standard reference just confirms that you were employed at that company between X & Y dates. It will not say anything further and is pretty common so won't in itself flag up any problem. If a new employer sees your 5 week absence due to the deaths of your dad AND brother within 4 weeks of each other as a problem ...then you wouldn't want to work there either?

Personally, I think you've done well to restrict your grieving to such a short period of time. Take care and good luck with the new job.

[chadman2016]

Re: Reference from an old employer

Hi
That's what I thought, as it wasn't due to anything work related why I was off and my sickness record for years before was unblemished.

And your right if a new employer sees this as a issue then your right im best not working for them

[Celestine]

Re: Reference from an old employer

Were there any cross words between you and your employers about your time off? I'm puzzled at why they're only happy to provide a standard reference? Given the full circumstances, are they not being rather heartless, in addition to their cold attitude to the time off in itself?

[chadman2016]

Re: Reference from an old employer

No cross words. I did say I wasn't happy on how I was treated while I was off and when I came back. But im not the first to be treated in this way, but it didn't effect me at the time so I didn't pay much attention if you know what I mean.
I don't know why they are only supplying a standard reference, but I suppose most companies do that to cover themselves in some way.
When I worked in recruitment I would only confirm dates of employment, so its not uncommon.

But to be honest I just want to move on and work for an organisation that respects me and values me.