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Angry with a school

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  • Angry with a school

    Hi all,

    Not sure it's a matter for this forum, but I'm just so darn angry!

    I have an 8 year old son, I split with his mother when he was a couple of weeks old, she walked out, I have always had battles with her on and off about various issues but I have always been there for him, I always have him at weekends and have done since the day she left (when she isn't playing silly monkeys and "stopping me from seeing him").

    I miss out on most things like parents evenings etc as I never get told about them, any how I spoke to his school and asked them discreetly if I could speak with his teacher as I wanted to see how he was getting on in school academically. I ask him how he likes school and get the typical "it's ok" response. I asked them to not tell his mother as it would only give her reason to moan at me thinking I am going behind her back. But to my total amazement the school phoned her up and asked her for permission to speak to me!?! I am on his birth certificate, he was born in 2007 meaning I have joint parental responsibility! I filled out all his paper work for the school so they had all my info. I feel like the teacher has totally disregarded my rights as his father in seeking her permission to talk to me! I know in law there is no need for consent, I know they have a duty of care for the child, but they have all my info! I just feel I am being discriminated against for being his dad! It's typical that mothers are still to this day seen as the authoritative source!

    I feel a complaint to the school coming on!
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Angry with a school

    tagging [MENTION=8640]leclerc[/MENTION] :noidea: xx
    Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

    It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

    recte agens confido

    ~~~~~

    Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

    I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
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    • #3
      Re: Angry with a school

      I don't think you have a case because the resident parent has authority in regards to school matters. Furthermore, do you ever pick him up from school? Have they even met you?
      "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
      (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Angry with a school

        I have picked him up a couple of times, and I enrolled him in the school. My understanding was that joint responsibility means that I have joint authority in education matters such as deciding his school etc.

        Found this on practical law website - last point.

        Generally, those with automatic PR, those who have it by virtue of a section 8 order and those who are parents in accordance with section 576 of the EA 1996 (as above) normally have the following parental rights:
        To attend a school's annual parents' meeting.
        To express a preference when choosing a school.
        To stand for election or vote as a parent governor.
        To be notified of their right to appeal against a child's exclusion. For more information on exclusion, see Practice notes, Pupil exclusion: England and School exclusions: Wales .
        To receive information on the child's education. For details of the right of access and the right to receive annual reports on the child's achievement, see Practice note, Pupil records and information.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Angry with a school

          Have a look online at your school to see if they have a separated parents policy. I think they might not have rung your partner if they had not been told not to at a rough guess. You have the right to know how he was doing but the school might have a specific policy.
          "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
          (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Angry with a school

            can I ask ?? what is it you are wanting from the school??
            annual reports??
            separate parents meetings??
            phone calls/letters when there are concerns about the child??
            the ability to ring up and request details of the child from teachers/head??

            Was there anything put in writing when the child(ren) started at the school saying you had to be involved/informed??
            Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

            It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

            recte agens confido

            ~~~~~

            Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

            I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
            But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

            Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Angry with a school

              They are aware we are separated, I remember there being a question on his enrolment / admission form.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Angry with a school

                I just had wanted to know how he is getting on, no real concerns, just curiosity, I'm his dad, I just want to know how he was settling in.

                He moved from his last school and started there in September, I didn't get invited to his parents evening because of his mother.

                In all fairness the teacher agreed to do a seperate parents evening for me, I'm just angry that they had all the info but still questioned it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Angry with a school

                  My kids school and my OH's kids school send duplicates of reports, newsletters and Parents Eve invitations to the non resident parents without any issue. I don't think they send every thing, just the important stuff. But then there aren't any issues between anyone really so things are just straight forward. Have the school told you that your son's mother has asked them not to send things to you? or are they just a bit crap?
                  #staysafestayhome

                  Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                  Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

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                  • #10
                    Re: Angry with a school

                    Think just a bit crap if that's the treatment parents get in other schools. It makes me wonder what they would have done if she had actually said no!? They would still have to tell me. That's my understanding of the law, my sister is a teacher and she said that they can't withhold information from parents unless by court order.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Angry with a school

                      Okay if there's not an issue with the Mother asking the school not to inform you then you should make a polite but firm complaint to the school - or even better make an appt to go in and have a chat with your son's tutor and head teacher maybe ? find out exactly how he is doing and sort out this notice situation in one hit.... do your school have an email or parent log in system set up ?
                      #staysafestayhome

                      Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                      Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

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                      • #12
                        Re: Angry with a school

                        Originally posted by Amethyst View Post
                        Okay if there's not an issue with the Mother asking the school not to inform you then you should make a polite but firm complaint to the school - or even better make an appt to go in and have a chat with your son's tutor and head teacher maybe ? find out exactly how he is doing and sort out this notice situation in one hit.... do your school have an email or parent log in system set up ?

                        Great idea, I have found their complaints procedure on their website, so I'll follow that. Hopefully it will result in a meeting so I can do both in one go. Thanks :-)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Angry with a school

                          Originally posted by cranky View Post
                          Think just a bit crap if that's the treatment parents get in other schools. It makes me wonder what they would have done if she had actually said no!? They would still have to tell me. That's my understanding of the law, my sister is a teacher and she said that they can't withhold information from parents unless by court order.
                          Have you made a section 8 order, are there any court orders in place already, if not is this just an informal agreement between you and your wife? You say separated, so are you saying you're not formally divorced? You say, joint responsibility, it's joint custody where you share custody rights.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Angry with a school

                            Hi cranky,

                            I hope this was all resolved for you. I know it was a while ago but I can also see lots of other people are interested in this thread.

                            As a solicitor I have seen this kind of issue more and more frequently and in lots of situations, Dad's taking children to A&E and being quizzed etc. 10 years ago most professionals would just deal with the adult in front of them and not worry about PR. This was a problem for Dad's as well because even if they had PR they were often ignored by professionals.

                            It is very frustrating and undermining to be quizzed about PR or checked up on but I also think it helps if you know why it is done and what perhaps you can do about it, as a situation it is increasing.

                            Mums who are looking after their children always have parental responsibility and so there is never a need to check. As you are aware some unmarried Dad's don't have PR and so for teachers or doctors and other professionals it is not possible just to assume a Dad has PR. This has even been a problem for married Dads who don't share their children's surname.

                            As more and more Dad's have PR those that don't are more likely ( obviously not all by any means) to be causing a concern either to Mum, social services or the courts because it has not been agreed they will be on the birth certificate, they have not gone to court or have gone to court and its not been granted.

                            This is about the safety of the children and not the rights of the parent. It stops inappropriate adults receiving confidential information and being informed about children.

                            Showing a copy of the child's birth certificate will always help and as this is difficult in an emergency having a travel copy to hand can help.

                            As fathers who are not on the birth certificate still do not have PR this is a situation that will not change for a while. Most schools and hospitals are getting better at how to deal with this but it is easy and understandable that offence can be caused, especially when an ex-partner is muddying the waters.

                            Staying calm and providing easily available information will help the professionals and they will instantly know they have a parent they can work with who has their kids best interests at heart.

                            I hope this is of use.

                            kind regards,

                            FionaC
                            I work for Howlett Clarke Solicitors . Any posts I make on LegalBeagles are for information and discussion purposes only and shouldn't be seen as legal advice. Any advice I provide is without liability. If you are unsure please seek formal legal guidance.

                            Comment

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