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Hi, A year ago I got a court order to see my 2 girls (aged 9 and 10 at that time) Mother had been manipulative etc and had been denying contact. Soon after the court order I managed to take my children away on holiday for the first time in 4 years and all was well, the children said "best holiday ever" on our return and things continued well until Christmas / New year. The ex had made a fool of herself with some threats to take me to court re a money matter and had (quite rightly) to let it go. It was only a trivial thing but she certainly did not like having egg on her face. But then of course the problems started again with my contact (because of an unrelated financial matter!)
Early January I collected the youngest child on the Friday for a weekend stay. the older girl was on a sleepover and was to be collected the following day. The younger immediately stated she had to be home at 4pm on the Sunday and not 6pm as per the contact order. I questioned this as no changed had been agreed or even requested. These requests continued throughout the weekend as did my refusals to return her early (activities had been planned that also involved my girlfriend and her child) The youngest kept insisting "Mummy says I have to be home at 4pm" Her mother was actually 10,000 miles away on holiday. So also substituted "grandma" (who was caring for them whilst mum was away) instead of "mummy" Her behaviour worsened and she was quite the little "Horror" and was sent to bed early because of some of her actions. My elder girl was also bad but apologised later in the evening for "being so silly" The girls were returned home on the Sunday at 5.40pm.
What was a minor event has turned into a situation where I did not see my youngest for a full 6 months. I know (Now) that I should have wasted no time contacting my solicitor, well I did try approx 4 times but she was always out and I said I would ring back....and then it would look like contact would resume and then it wouldnt etc etc. Yes I know I should have left a message for my solicitor to contact me but I kept thinking it would soon be resolved by my own efforts.
Contact has resumed but is very patchy as the ex is making things as difficult as possible. It is upsetting the girls and none of us know what is happening one week to the next. Because of this I finally had enough and went to see my solicitor. The other thing being that I was upset and surprised by how manipulated the youngest had been since I last saw her. Things like "Mummy said if you loved us you would pay towards us and you don't" I had to show her the payments I make through the csa! A truly sorry state of affairs.
I realised before seeing my solicitor she would give me a rollocking for leaving it so long, I really thought I could have sorted things out myself without the expense (£3000 the last time) as I knew the kids were happy with me during our contact....they had been silly and would realise if I gave them time and space etc. I was immediately informed by my solicitor that because I had left it so long (6 months) that it would be impossible to go for an enforcement of the court order! And that in effect I would have to go through the whole process again. As you can imagine this horrifies me and not just because I havent the £3000 to spare but the thought of Cafcass and all the hearings again etc.
So please has anyone any advice on this matter? Is it impossible to enforce a court order because I spent 6 months trying to sort things in my way before realising I couldnt.
As it stands at the moment...my solicitor was sending a letter to the ex to insist we stuck to the original court order etc. But I'm not convinced that will do much.
Early January I collected the youngest child on the Friday for a weekend stay. the older girl was on a sleepover and was to be collected the following day. The younger immediately stated she had to be home at 4pm on the Sunday and not 6pm as per the contact order. I questioned this as no changed had been agreed or even requested. These requests continued throughout the weekend as did my refusals to return her early (activities had been planned that also involved my girlfriend and her child) The youngest kept insisting "Mummy says I have to be home at 4pm" Her mother was actually 10,000 miles away on holiday. So also substituted "grandma" (who was caring for them whilst mum was away) instead of "mummy" Her behaviour worsened and she was quite the little "Horror" and was sent to bed early because of some of her actions. My elder girl was also bad but apologised later in the evening for "being so silly" The girls were returned home on the Sunday at 5.40pm.
What was a minor event has turned into a situation where I did not see my youngest for a full 6 months. I know (Now) that I should have wasted no time contacting my solicitor, well I did try approx 4 times but she was always out and I said I would ring back....and then it would look like contact would resume and then it wouldnt etc etc. Yes I know I should have left a message for my solicitor to contact me but I kept thinking it would soon be resolved by my own efforts.
Contact has resumed but is very patchy as the ex is making things as difficult as possible. It is upsetting the girls and none of us know what is happening one week to the next. Because of this I finally had enough and went to see my solicitor. The other thing being that I was upset and surprised by how manipulated the youngest had been since I last saw her. Things like "Mummy said if you loved us you would pay towards us and you don't" I had to show her the payments I make through the csa! A truly sorry state of affairs.
I realised before seeing my solicitor she would give me a rollocking for leaving it so long, I really thought I could have sorted things out myself without the expense (£3000 the last time) as I knew the kids were happy with me during our contact....they had been silly and would realise if I gave them time and space etc. I was immediately informed by my solicitor that because I had left it so long (6 months) that it would be impossible to go for an enforcement of the court order! And that in effect I would have to go through the whole process again. As you can imagine this horrifies me and not just because I havent the £3000 to spare but the thought of Cafcass and all the hearings again etc.
So please has anyone any advice on this matter? Is it impossible to enforce a court order because I spent 6 months trying to sort things in my way before realising I couldnt.
As it stands at the moment...my solicitor was sending a letter to the ex to insist we stuck to the original court order etc. But I'm not convinced that will do much.
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