Domestic violence what will happen next ?

[lilir0se]

My boyfriend has been arrested for domestic violence (a neighbor called the police) while we both had a fight in the street and i asked for no charges to be pressed against him. On my point of view it was just a silly argument and we both went too far. He is now released on bail and had as condition to not contact me whatsoever which i don't agree with at all. We live together so i had to leave the flat and find my own place. How long is that condition going to last and what can happen once in the court? Is it better if he pleads guilty and what charges can be kept against him? - He does not have any criminal backgrounds and i did withdraw my statement - Will we be able to go back together after the trial? I am so anxious!Thank you for you time

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Are there children involved??
Did either of you have to go to hospital/a GP for treatment??

Unfortunately, the police can still charge him even after you have withdrawn your statement - they have (to my knowledge) been able to do this for a while now. As his bail conditions state that you are to have no contact whatsoever, that will have to be adhered to until such a time as the courts decide otherwise (if he breaks his bail conditions, he will be placed on remand until the trial).

If he has been charged and bailed, a court will look more favourably on a 'guilty' plea than a lie. If you are determined to go back to him after the trial it might help to write a letter to the courts telling your side of the story - although it is my own opinion (and I mean no offence by saying this) that you might both be well advised to think very hard about continuing in a relationship where violence has occurred.

Kati

[lilir0se]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Hi Kati

Thank you for your answer.

We have no children and none of us had to go to hospital or GP, i only had a bruise on my leg.

Does it mean the justice can actually decide to extend the time he is not allowed to have contact with me, even after he goes to court ?

It is such a struggle as we both love each other so much, we have been best friends for 10 years and we are now together for 3 years. I know he is the person i want to have a future with and i do understand everything has gone too silly and too far but it is never going to happen again as we both regret so much and suffer so much now

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

We have no children and none of us had to go to hospital or GP, i only had a bruise on my leg.

That's good ... if there are no children involved, then Social Services need not be involved (unless either of you have a social worker already).

Does it mean the justice can actually decide to extend the time he is not allowed to have contact with me, even after he goes to court ?

depending on the verdict, he might find himself in prison. The courts will have to decide the outcome based on the evidence submitted I'm afraid.

It is such a struggle as we both love each other so much, we have been best friends for 10 years and we are now together for 3 years. I know he is the person i want to have a future with and i do understand everything has gone too silly and too far but it is never going to happen again as we both regret so much and suffer so much now

I hope that you are right in your belief that it is a one off - so many times I have heard this and so many times been shown that once the line has been crossed, there is no going back .

All you can do is wait until the court case and see what the outcome is.

Kati xx

[lilir0se]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Can he really go to prison for A SILLY ARGUMENT ???? I have not been hurt, i said i was not in pain when the officer took my statement and i will push him pleading guilty ! I am so scared

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Can he really go to prison for A SILLY ARGUMENT ???? I have not been hurt, i said i was not in pain when the officer took my statement and i will push him pleading guilty ! I am so scared

If the police decide to carry on with the case, it's a possibility I'm afraid ... Domestic Violence is not looked upon favourably by anyone, and as the police were called out it is in their hands.

All you can do is write the letter (as suggested in post #2) and hope the outcome is what you want :tinysmile_hmm_t2:

Kati x

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

From the looks of it, your partner might have been given a DVPO (Domestic Violence Protection Order) https://www.gov.uk/government/public...tection-orders

A Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO) is an order applied for by the police and made by the Magistrates' Court.The police will give you a time and date to appear at the Magistrates' Court. The court will hear an application for a DVPO within 48 hours (excluding Sundays and Bank Holidays) of you being served with a DVPN by the police, If you do not attend the Magistrates' Court, then a DVPO can be made in your absence.
The law allows the Magistrates to make a DVPO against you even if the other person does not agree to it. In addition, the Magistrates will take into account the welfare of anyone under 18 who the police consider will be affected by the DVPO.
What happens at court?
At court, all evidence will be heard and you will be given the opportunity to ask questions and give evidence yourself. The Court will then decide whether to make a DVPO. If an order is made it will last for a minimum of 14 days and a maximum of 28 days.
What if I do not follow the conditions of the DVPO?
You will be arrested and kept in custody. Within 24 hours (excluding Sundays and Bank Holidays) you will be seen before a Magistrates' Court and could be fined up to £5000 and/or sent to prison for up to 2 months.
Do I need legal representation?
If you want to be represented at your court hearing, you are advised to seek legal advice and assistance as soon as you can. If you are in police custody for breach of a DVPN or DVPO then you will have access to free legal advice and assistance. If you are eligible, legal aid may also be available.

All you can do is abide by his bail conditions and wait for the outcome of the court case.

Kati x

[Johnboy007]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

Well I'm afraid I am from the 'Old School', and do not believe in any man hitting a woman, full stop.
Yes there are occasions when perhaps the woman has pushed her partner too far and something snaps.
Can I ask you some very personal questions, and I hope you will be very honest in your answers.
Is this the only time that your partner has been violent to you?
When you row, who usually comes out on top?
Is your partner a jealous man?
Is he controlling you?
I am asking these questions for a very specific reason.

[wales01man]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

While I would not condone Violence towards anyone we must remember this guy is innocent at the moment until he is found Guilty .
The OP obvious loves him and if she feels that this will not happen again she must decide want she wants does she give evidence that's true or lie in court? That's her decision lets hope its a one off and if he gets convicted he takes the punishment learns the lesson then its up to her to decide the future .

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

While I would not condone Violence towards anyone we must remember this guy is innocent at the moment until he is found Guilty .
The OP obvious loves him and if she feels that this will not happen again she must decide want she wants does she give evidence that's true or lie in court? That's her decision lets hope its a one off and if he gets convicted he takes the punishment learns the lesson then its up to her to decide the future .

I agree - although I hope that the OP and her partner tell the truth in court . I still feel that a letter might show the courts that she is willing to support him and believes it to be a one-off (if true), and think that they should both abide by the bail conditions so as not to make things worse!!

[righty]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

You can refuse to be a witness & if you let the police/CPS know your intention they may decide to drop the charges

[Johnboy007]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

While I would not condone Violence towards anyone we must remember this guy is innocent at the moment until he is found Guilty .
The OP obvious loves him and if she feels that this will not happen again she must decide want she wants does she give evidence that's true or lie in court? That's her decision lets hope its a one off and if he gets convicted he takes the punishment learns the lesson then its up to her to decide the future .

Yes Wales, in law the man is innocent...
But we do have to look at the wider issue here.
The police arrested the man so there must have been some fundamental reason for doing so.
Was there any injuries to his partner?
My own opinion is, that there probably was.
He has been released on bail, but with conditions set by the police.
One of the conditions being that he has no contact with his partner.
You can read of many woman who are subjected to physical abuse by a violent partner.
Some smoke cannabis and are paranoid at the slightest thing their partner does wrong.
Even the most innocent thing can result in the woman getting a hiding.
But they think that it is OK and that it was their fault, and that it will not happen again.
Unfortunately Wales, it does happen again, and again.
I sincerely hope that this was a one off, for both their sakes.
And like you, I hope it is a lesson learned, and not a lesson still to be learned.

[wales01man]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

JB I agree 100% with you but above all despite what we and the Law think or do this Lady is maybe in Love with this guy .
It has been known for the Police to make Mistakes lets hope not in this case

[des8]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

and the OP says "we had a fight" and admits in effect it was a 50/50 situation.
Why did bib arrest only one person and charge him with domestic violence.
On the basis of what has been said this should be a section 3 offence under the Public Order Act 1986.

.... and for those with blinkers men are often the victims of domestic violence http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/abuse/Pag...ainst-men.aspx

[Kati]

Re: Domestic violence what will happen next ?

and for those with blinkers men are often the victims of domestic violence

yes they are ... as (at times) are children.
much as we (as a society) would often prefer to turn the other cheek when confronted with subjects such as this one, I believe that forewarned is forearmed. If the OP and her partner want to be together, they will do better abiding by the bail conditions and telling the truth. The OP does not have to give evidence if she doesn't wish to, but they BOTH have to make sure they tell the truth in court!