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Friday smile

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  • Friday smile


    My wife came home yesterday and said, “Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is.”

    I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, “You know, I don’t mean this offensively, but you don’t know the carburetor from the accelerator.”
    “No, there’s definitely water in the carburetor,” she insisted.
    “OK Honey, that’s fine, I’ll just go take a look. Where is it?”
    “In the lake.”
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Friday smile

    Chap: goes to the dentist "I've got a terrible tooth ache can you help"

    Dentist: "certainly sit there"

    Dentist then begins to prepare the needle syringe to inject pain relief

    Chap: "Oh no I can't stand a needle they make me faint"

    Dentist then begins to prepare the use of gas

    Chap: "Oh no I can't take gas it makes me sick"

    Dentist then asks "can you take a pill"

    Chap: "Oh yes, no problem with a pill"

    Dentist "OK take this viagra"

    Chap: "I didn't know viagra was an anaesthetic"

    Dentist "It isn't but it'll give you something to hang onto when I pull your teeth":tinysmile_grin_t:

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Friday smile

      An Irishman buys a new car in London to take back to Ireland Driving down the M4 the car breaks down after a 100 miles so he calls the AA .
      AA man fixes car Irishman asks Whats the problem?

      AA man says shite in the Carburettor to which the Irishman relies my god do I have to do that every hundred miles

      Boom Boom

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Friday smile

        3 women chatting.
        First woman says “My uncle is a Bishop and everyone says ‘your grace’ when he comes in to a room.
        Second woman not to be out done says “My uncle is a Cardinal and everyone says ‘your eminence’ when he comes into a room.
        Third woman sneers and says “Ha! That’s nothing. My uncle weighs 30 stones and everyone says ‘god almighty’ when he comes into a room.

        An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good'!
        ~ Anonymous

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Friday smile

          Out at liquid lunch today, chatting to an older boy who was telling us about his farming experiences in early fifties.
          As he had suffered a stroke his speech was a bit slurred, added to which we were speaking Welsh and mine isn't that strong.
          He'd been describing a champion milk giver (over 10 gallons a day) and made a comment which I didn't catch.
          On being asked to repeat it he said "Her name was over her stall .... Amethyst"
          I cracked up and my wife said "You'd never believe it looking at her avatar" and then she challenged me to repeat it here.
          So I have..... and to stay in good books "you're both champions"

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Friday smile

            @@@@@
            Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

            It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

            recte agens confido

            ~~~~~

            Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

            I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
            But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

            Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Friday smile

              Originally posted by des8 View Post
              Out at liquid lunch today, chatting to an older boy who was telling us about his farming experiences in early fifties.
              As he had suffered a stroke his speech was a bit slurred, added to which we were speaking Welsh and mine isn't that strong.
              He'd been describing a champion milk giver (over 10 gallons a day) and made a comment which I didn't catch.
              On being asked to repeat it he said "Her name was over her stall .... Amethyst"
              I cracked up and my wife said "You'd never believe it looking at her avatar" and then she challenged me to repeat it here.
              So I have..... and to stay in good books "you're both champions"
              PMSL I didn't see this earlier, absolutely brilliant Des and full marks to your wife
              Any opinions I give are my own. Any advice I give is without liability. If you are unsure, please seek qualified legal advice.

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              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Friday smile

                Originally posted by des8 View Post
                Out at liquid lunch today, chatting to an older boy who was telling us about his farming experiences in early fifties.
                As he had suffered a stroke his speech was a bit slurred, added to which we were speaking Welsh and mine isn't that strong.
                He'd been describing a champion milk giver (over 10 gallons a day) and made a comment which I didn't catch.
                On being asked to repeat it he said "Her name was over her stall .... Amethyst"
                I cracked up and my wife said "You'd never believe it looking at her avatar" and then she challenged me to repeat it here.
                So I have..... and to stay in good books "you're both champions"
                OMG !!! I have only just read this (mainly because Jules just starting cracking up at his laptop!) ......
                #staysafestayhome

                Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

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                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Friday smile

                  Click image for larger version

Name:	awkward-album12.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	192.2 KB
ID:	1162308Probably the worst album covers ever!

                  An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good'!
                  ~ Anonymous

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Friday smile

                    I love the look on this dog's face :lol:

                    Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                    It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                    recte agens confido

                    ~~~~~

                    Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                    I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                    But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                    Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Friday smile

                      Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum.!!Click image for larger version

Name:	drunk-smiley-emoticon.gif
Views:	2
Size:	90.8 KB
ID:	1162485

                      An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good'!
                      ~ Anonymous

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Friday smile

                        Two blokes walking along when one says "my wife's an angel" other one says "your very lucky mines still alive" boom boom

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Friday smile

                          I know it is not Friday but ….continuing on the scary album covers theme…..
                          Click image for larger version

Name:	awkward-album1.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	194.6 KB
ID:	1162492

                          An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good'!
                          ~ Anonymous

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Friday smile

                            Paws that's :fear:...erm... :hand: ..is it for real? mslx

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Friday smile

                              Originally posted by MissFM View Post
                              Paws that's :fear:...erm... :hand: ..is it for real? mslx
                              yup :lol:
                              Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

                              It doesn't matter where your journey begins, so long as you begin it...

                              recte agens confido

                              ~~~~~

                              Any advice I provide is given without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

                              I can be emailed if you need my help loading pictures/documents to your thread. My email address is Kati@legalbeagles.info
                              But please include a link to your thread so I know who you are.

                              Specialist advice can be sought via our sister site JustBeagle

                              Comment

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