• Welcome to the LegalBeagles Consumer and Legal Forum.
    Please Register to get the most out of the forum. Registration is free and only needs a username and email address.
    REGISTER
    Please do not post your full name, reference numbers or any identifiable details on the forum.

What is domestic violence?

Collapse
Loading...
Important !
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What is domestic violence?

    What is domestic violence?

    There are a number of different definitions of domestic violence. In Women's Aid's view, domestic violence is physical, psychological, sexual or financial violence that takes place within an intimate or family-type relationship and forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour. This can include forced marriage and so-called 'honour' crimes. Domestic violence often includes a range of abusive behaviours, not all of which are, in themselves, inherently 'violent' - hence some people prefer to use the term 'domestic abuse' rather than 'domestic violence'.

    Domestic violence is very common: research shows that it affects one in four women in their lifetime. Two women a week are killed by their partners or former partners. All forms of domestic violence - psychological, financial, emotional and physical - come from the abuser's desire for power and control over an intimate partner or other family members. Domestic violence is repetitive and life-threatening, it tends to worsen over time and it destroys the lives of women and children.

    Crime statistics and research show that domestic violence is gender specific - that is, it is most commonly experienced by women and perpetrated by men, particularly when there is a pattern of repeated and serious physical assaults, or when it includes rape or sexual assault or results in injury or death. Men can also experience violence from their partners (both within gay and straight relationships); however women's violence towards men is often an attempt at self defence, and is only rarely part of a consistent pattern of controlling and coercive behaviour. For this reason, we will generally refer to the abuser as 'he' and to the survivor as 'she'.

    Domestic violence also has an enormous effect on the children in the family. Nearly three-quarters of children considered 'at risk' by Social Services are living in households where one of their parents/carers is abusing the other. A high proportion of these children are themselves being abused - either physically or sexually - by the same perpetrator. (Estimates vary between 30% to 66% depending upon the study.)


    Any woman can experience domestic violence regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, class, disability or lifestyle. Domestic violence can also take place in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender relationships. Domestic violence can also be perpetrated by other family members (for example, extended family). In some cases, older children - teenagers or young adults - are violent or abusive towards their mothers or other family members.

    Although every situation is unique, there are common factors that link the experience of an abusive relationship. Acknowledging these factors is an important step in preventing and stopping the abuse. This list can help you to recognise if you, or someone you know, are in an abusive relationship.
    • Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: shouting; mocking; accusing; name calling; verbally threatening.
    • Pressure tactics: sulking; threatening to withhold money, disconnecting the telephone, taking the car away, taking the children away, or reporting you to welfare agencies unless you comply with his demands; threatening or attempting suicide; withholding or pressuring you to use drugs or other substances; lying to your friends and family about you; telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.
    • Disrespect: persistently putting you down in front of other people; not listening or responding when you talk; interrupting your telephone calls; taking money from your purse without asking; refusing to help with childcare or housework.
    • Breaking trust: lying to you; withholding information from you; being jealous; having other relationships; breaking promises and shared agreements.
    • Isolation: monitoring or blocking your telephone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go; preventing you from seeing friends and relatives; shutting you in the house.
    • Harassment: following you; checking up on you; not allowing you any privacy (for example, opening your mail), repeatedly checking to see who has telephoned you; embarrassing you in public; accompanying you everywhere you go.
    • Threats: making angry gestures; using physical size to intimidate; shouting you down; destroying your possessions; breaking things; punching walls; wielding a knife or a gun; threatening to kill or harm you and the children; threatening to kill or harm family pets; threats of suicide.
    • Sexual violence: using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts; having sex with you when you don't want it; forcing you to look at pornographic material; forcing you to have sex with other people; any degrading treatment related to your sexuality or to whether you are lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.
    • Physical violence: punching; slapping; hitting; biting; pinching; kicking; pulling hair out; pushing; shoving; burning; strangling.
    • Denial: saying the abuse doesn't happen; saying you caused the abusive behaviour; being publicly gentle and patient; crying and begging for forgiveness; saying it will never happen again.
    Is domestic violence a crime?

    Domestic violence can include a number of different behaviours, and there is no single criminal offence of 'domestic violence'. Not all forms of domestic violence are illegal; some forms of emotional abuse, for example, are not defined as criminal - though these can also have a serious and lasting impact on a woman's or child's sense of well-being and autonomy.

    However, many kinds of domestic violence constitute a criminal offence, including physical assault, wounding, attempting to choke, sexual assault, rape, threats to kill, harassment, stalking and putting people in fear of violence.

    Who is responsible for the violence?

    The abuser is always responsible for the violence, and should be held accountable. There is no excuse for domestic violence and the victim is never responsible for the abuser's behaviour.

    'Blaming the victim' is something that abusers will often do to make excuses for their behaviour, and quite often they manage to convince their victims that the abuse is indeed their fault. This is part of the pattern and is in itself abusive. Blaming their behaviour on someone else, or on the relationship, their childhood, their ill health, or their alcohol or drug addiction is one way in which many abusers try to avoid personal responsibility for their behaviour.

    It is important that any intervention to address domestic violence prioritises the safety of victims/survivors and holds the perpetrators accountable.

    Women and men, victims and survivors

    This handbook is primarily addressed to women for the following reasons:
    • The majority of domestic violence as defined above is perpetrated by men and experienced by women.
    • Women's Aid's information and support services exist to respond to the needs of women and children.
    However, most of the information here would also apply equally to men who are on the receiving end of abuse, whether from a male or a female abuser.

    The terms 'victim' and 'survivor' are both used, depending on the context. 'Survivor' is, however, preferred as it emphasises an active, resourceful and creative response to the abuse, in contrast to 'victim', which implies passive acceptance. If you are reading this, then you are - at least to some extent - a survivor.

    References

    Department of Health (2002) 'Women's Mental health: Into the Mainstream: Strategic development of mental health care for women' (London: DH)
    Farmer, E. and Pollack, S. (1998) 'Substitute care for sexually abused and abusing children' (Chichester: Wiley)
    Walby, Sylvia and Allen, Jonathan (2004) 'Domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking: Findings from the British Crime Survey' (London: Home Office Research, Development and Statistics Directorate)

    With Thanks to WOMENS AID
    Last edited by Amethyst; 20th February 2008, 18:58:PM.
    #staysafestayhome

    Any support I provide is offered without liability, if you are unsure please seek professional legal guidance.

    Received a Court Claim? Read >>>>> First Steps

  • #2
    Re: What is domestic violence?

    I lived with this for years. The ex tries some of the things listed here even now! If anyone wants to talk to me about it, feel free x
    :beagle:My threads :- UCA (Amex) : Moorcroft (Goldfish) : Cabot : Marlins : Shas v A&L & the world : Capital One : Direct Legal Collections...Egg, CO : Nationwide : Co-Op

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What is domestic violence?

      i'm logged in on my partners name but saw this blog. i lived with an abusive man for 5yrs had two of his children and when the violence got so bad i had to make a choice him or the kids...obviously i knew my priorities. what has let me down is the justice system, when he was sentenced he was given probation and a fine...four yrs later never did any probation or paid a fine and the police can't to anything as its for the probation service to breech him...what a joke! a month ago find out on facebook that he's trying to start a family with his new bit of fluff when i was assured by social services that this man will not be able to be on his own with children...i do get angry but there's no point in wasting it on a man who has no intention of being a decent human being. hope things are good for you now x jo x

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What is domestic violence?

        Just to add on the CAB guide as well

        Domestic violence
        "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
        (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What is domestic violence?

          hiya,

          just found this thread and it rang bells instantly.

          I wanted to tell people there is no shame in admitting that you have been the victim of Domestic Violence... please dont do what I did and hide it. Certain members of my family (including Mum) have no idea about it.

          My story started aged 17, met Knight in Shining Armour and he turned out to be ****** in Tin Foil! Everyone of my friends told me not to go near him, but i was 17, knew everything and knew sod al!!

          To cut a long hate filled story short, he tried to kill me. I think if I mentioned his name Bluebottle would go 5 different shades of grey!
          My friend, and later BF came to his house and broke in, an bodily dragged me out in to the street, i forgot if i dislocated both hips or just one, or if i dislocated both knees or just one, but i know that I ache in the cold and wet.

          PLEASE PLEASE if it happens, get help. I still have the nightmares, I wont let anyone behnd me, and in a crowded street im checking the reflections in wiindows!
          I can't tell mum now, it would kill her!
          The police wont blame you, the 2 that came out to me sat on the ground, in the rain, keeping my hair out my face, and one took his coat off and wrapped me in it, saying Drips can only get bigger, not wetter! I can't thank them enough as they even went in, took the cat out and got her rehomed, it was obvious the Ex wasnt gonna be coming back home.

          The WPC still writes to me and makes sure im ok, shes lovely.

          So never be afraid of them, they are incredible.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What is domestic violence?

            Down here in Plymouth, a sergeant from Devon & Cornwall Police came up with the simple idea of telephoning the schools of children who had had a domestic violence situation the previous day and for someone at the school to keep a eye out for them. This has had extraordinary results. Such children are reacting positively to this and disruptive behaviour is being reduced dramatically. The idea is now about to be rolled out nationwide.

            It is known that children who engage in disruptive behaviour at school, invariably, are from homes where there is domestic violence or evidence of abuse in one form or another.
            Life is a journey on which we all travel, sometimes together, but never alone.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What is domestic violence?

              A good idea but it can have the reverse effect ie: making matters ten times worse as the perpetrator may possibly find out making life even more unbearable, what we actually need is the full force of the law and the courts. I know that in my case they were getting a little peeved with me having to go down to the police station virtually every other day to report it in fact I was on first name basis with most of them but eventually they gave me a link workers details and in turn got a solicitor and had an ex parte hearing within a week as the violence was so extreme but I must admit I had to do it all under cloak and dagger which was extremely difficult as I was being followed and phone tapped and no use of mobile or internet, but in saying that..I would advise women to be strong and as my link worker said to me " no-one deserves to be treated like a dog" and " if you won't do it for yourself? do it for your children" very sound advice and one that made me wake up,pluck up enough courage to face my demon so I would suggest women in that situation should definitely give it a go....best thing I ever did X

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What is domestic violence?

                PS: my ex did ALL of the above.I remember getting that info but in the form of a steering wheel from the domestic violence barrister lol and I pinned it up on the wall in my room to look at if I ever had doubts that I did the right thing ( which wasn't very often ) X

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What is domestic violence?

                  yes, its a way to make others aware and one's bad experience can be a motivation in a positive way for others. Women must initiate to take steps against such kind of violence and they don't need to survive with such conditions. One of my aunt wasn't so much aware with these rights for her and unfortunately, she decided to be with suicide.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This post reminds me of my friend who had suffered from domestic violence and this had changed her life totally. She forgot to enjoy her life and now also she is unable to get out of it and getting a treatment in mental care. This thing had ruined her life totally. But thank you for sharing this post so that other people get aware about this.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It`s really a motivational content for women rights.

                      Comment

                      View our Terms and Conditions

                      LegalBeagles Group uses cookies to enhance your browsing experience and to create a secure and effective website. By using this website, you are consenting to such use.To find out more and learn how to manage cookies please read our Cookie and Privacy Policy.

                      If you would like to opt in, or out, of receiving news and marketing from LegalBeagles Group Ltd you can amend your settings at any time here.


                      If you would like to cancel your registration please Contact Us. We will delete your user details on request, however, any previously posted user content will remain on the site with your username removed and 'Guest' inserted.
                      Working...
                      X