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2 New Products From Bankmart

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  • 2 New Products From Bankmart

    BankMart
    Supplying the banking industry


    NEW!
    At last! An end to penalty charge claimant misery!

    With

    'COMPLAIN a WAY'

    No bigger than the size of an average office photocopier
    this latest break-through in banking customer service
    technology developed in Somalia sits neatly on the
    counter top. When the next customer comes in
    complaining of his £3000 in penalty charges for going
    12 pence overdrawn, simply switch on 'COMPLAIN a WAY'
    and your account holder is subjected to listening to vast
    extracts from the banking code at a deafening 1200
    decibels - thats louder than the space shuttle at take off!

    Guarenteed to force the complainant out the door
    in under 20 seconds. Includes bankers safety ear-phones
    that plays the 1933 classic 'We're in the money'.


    ----------------------------------------

    NEW!
    Tired of settling out of court?

    Introducing
    Stat-O-Scamer
    Developed by the worlds leading stationary scientists in Latvia,
    you simply use this essential piece of banking kit to print your
    customers copy statements on. At first glance the statement
    looks completely normal but due to the 'JUDGE SENSITIVE' tm
    technology embeded in the paper, as soon as a member of the
    judiciary holds it - HEY PRESTO! -all the penalty charges turn
    in to credits! Result? The judge throws the case out of court,
    deems the claimant a vexacious litigant and awards the
    bank costs!

    *Now available in contract terms & conditions*

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