I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

[andy15593]

Hi all

New here, desperately seeking opinions.

I began working a new job in April 2013. The role is quite basic and involves manual labour/handling throughout each day. I am to supply the workshop with all materials needed, ranging from sheets of wood to fittings, drawers etc. I also take care of all fork lift driving, such as unloading, putting away, and a host of other tasks.

In regards to my superior he seemed friendly and courteous. He would often seem supportive and for approximately the first two weeks all was well. But then suddenly there was a change. He now seemed to be miserable, ill-tempered and demanding. Going forwards from then his behaviour is no longer what could be called professional, it appears as though he simply doesn't like me, or enjoys conflict.

So far I have witnessed:

• bragging that he's offered employees "outside"
• distinct lack of respect to any manager, such as "the sooner he retires the better" about a supervisor, "the bloke is an idiot" in reference to a manager, and "he doesn't really know what he is doing" about a senior manager
• clear lack of respect towards staff who aren't part of his following, myself included
• aggressive behavior such as kicking inanimate objects and the use of foul language because I hadn't had time to move some rolls of bubble wrap that were safe, tidy and put away but not where he wanted them
• threatening language towards myself, "I'm telling you now, you don't want to go there" was the reply after asking him a legitimate question
• patronising behaviour towards my previous experiences, so much that he pulled out my cv to read it in front of me, and then asked why I make things difficult
• lack of leadership, he's not provided me with any training just an expectation to get on with it
• constantly adding more work, from trivial tasks to major jobs to my day, with the expectation it is completed now. I tend to prioritise tasks based on the business needs i.e. productivity and load turnarounds are more important that moving a few boxes because he wants them moved.
• sneaking around to check on the additional jobs he's added and displays aggressive behaviour if I've been too busy to keep up
• exceptionally heavy handed approach
• goalposts/processes change depending on his mood
• I regularly find him playing on his phone when I go into his office, and is often caught on ebay on his desk computer

I've found myself working harder, longer hours in an attempt to keep peace and to prove it isn't me who is the problem, but all that's done is make him believe I should be doing more so adds more to my day resulting in no gain. I am now beginning to burn out from trying to keep up, and for the salary I don't believe my efforts to be worth it. I am constantly exhausted and am finding myself depressed with no confidence or morale.

What should I do going forwards?

[bluebottle]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

You're displaying clear signs of stress, in the clinical sense, and if this is not addressed, it could have serious health implications. The worst case scenario if it is not addressed now is a heart attack or stroke further down the line. Early signs of stress include sleep problems, digestive problems, picking up infections more frequently than normal (which is due to your immune system being affected by the stress). Your employer has a duty to ensure that you are not exposed to unnecessary stress and HSIs (health and safety inspectors) have the power to serve an Improvement Notice on your employer for a MINIMUM of 12 months if they allow this to happen.

To the best of your knowledge, has this manager physically assaulted any employee? Have you discussed this manager's behaviour with someone more senior to him? If "Yes", what have they done to address his behaviour?

This manager has all the hallmarks of a bully. Bullies cost the British economy £26 billion a year. A lot of workplaces would be better off without such people on their payroll.

[charitynjw]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

Hi all

New here, desperately seeking opinions.

I began working a new job in April 2013. The role is quite basic and involves manual labour/handling throughout each day. I am to supply the workshop with all materials needed, ranging from sheets of wood to fittings, drawers etc. I also take care of all fork lift driving, such as unloading, putting away, and a host of other tasks.

In regards to my superior he seemed friendly and courteous. He would often seem supportive and for approximately the first two weeks all was well. But then suddenly there was a change. He now seemed to be miserable, ill-tempered and demanding. Going forwards from then his behaviour is no longer what could be called professional, it appears as though he simply doesn't like me, or enjoys conflict.

So far I have witnessed:

• bragging that he's offered employees "outside"
• distinct lack of respect to any manager, such as "the sooner he retires the better" about a supervisor, "the bloke is an idiot" in reference to a manager, and "he doesn't really know what he is doing" about a senior manager
• clear lack of respect towards staff who aren't part of his following, myself included
• aggressive behavior such as kicking inanimate objects and the use of foul language because I hadn't had time to move some rolls of bubble wrap that were safe, tidy and put away but not where he wanted them
• threatening language towards myself, "I'm telling you now, you don't want to go there" was the reply after asking him a legitimate question
• patronising behaviour towards my previous experiences, so much that he pulled out my cv to read it in front of me, and then asked why I make things difficult
• lack of leadership, he's not provided me with any training just an expectation to get on with it
• constantly adding more work, from trivial tasks to major jobs to my day, with the expectation it is completed now. I tend to prioritise tasks based on the business needs i.e. productivity and load turnarounds are more important that moving a few boxes because he wants them moved.
• sneaking around to check on the additional jobs he's added and displays aggressive behaviour if I've been too busy to keep up
• exceptionally heavy handed approach
• goalposts/processes change depending on his mood
• I regularly find him playing on his phone when I go into his office, and is often caught on ebay on his desk computer

I've found myself working harder, longer hours in an attempt to keep peace and to prove it isn't me who is the problem, but all that's done is make him believe I should be doing more so adds more to my day resulting in no gain. I am now beginning to burn out from trying to keep up, and for the salary I don't believe my efforts to be worth it. I am constantly exhausted and am finding myself depressed with no confidence or morale.

What should I do going forwards?

If you wish to address the situation formally, you will need to start gathering documented evidence, &, ideally, witnesses who will support your side of things.
Once you have enough evidence, then lodge a grievance. (All firms should have a grievance policy; if not, there is the 'default' ACAS one).
Downloadable from here http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=2174
Are you a member of a union?
If not, it may well be in your best interests to do so.

[bluebottle]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

What line of business is your employer in?

[CleverClogs]

Re: I think my new boss is a pillock

What should I do going forwards?

Keep your eyes in front of the fork-lift truck.

As regards your new boss, read this (link) and rejoice that you are able to witness how useless he is.

[charitynjw]

Re: I think my new boss is a pillock

Keep your eyes in front of the fork-lift truck.

As regards your new boss, read this (link) and rejoice that you are able to witness how useless he is.

The Peter Principle - does that mean he's a dic...tator?

[Paull]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

He sounds like a bit of a douche.

[CleverClogs]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

He sounds like a bit of a douche.

Which bit - the nozzle or the bag?

[andy15593]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

Wow guys, many thanks for the replies, I had hoped to see notifications on email (what's up with that?). Some interesting points, and of course at no point will I pretend to be perfect - we all make mistakes. We are a kitchen manufacturer and rather interestingly, he has been off all this week on holiday and surprise surprise, I felt much better. Although I did find myself constantly thinking about his return and what hell I'm likely to be lined up for when that happens. I also found myself making sure I addressed some of the smaller things he mentioned before he went away as it's likely to be those he'll check up on his return and then call me in to the office to create more atmosphere and issues about them.

In response to the questions I have received:

No, I haven't discussed this with anyone senior, HR, in fact anyone other than in conversation with some other members of staff. It seems to be accepted that this is the way he is and things will never change. The reason for not discussing it is that I don't believe it will (a) do any good and (b) there are only 2 other managers on site and I don't believe any issue would get resolved - it would probably compound the issue and make the position untenable.

No, I am not a member of a union, perhaps that would be the ideal first port of call. I have come to a forum to get advice/opinions (some of which did cheer me up), and perhaps would get a face-to-face opinion and advice from a union. Of course it's interesting to see what opinions you guys may have.

I have now started to make photocopies of any documents I need to hand to him, so if he claims I never handed them I can present a copy. I am also considering either writing down any instructions he gives me in a pad, and/or obtaining a dictation machine of some kind to record any conversations I have with him. This was the last thing I wanted to do, and I seriously can't believe I am considering doing this, or the fact that I have had to start making copies of documents. Opinions on any of this?

[bluebottle]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

Wow guys, many thanks for the replies, I had hoped to see notifications on email (what's up with that?). Some interesting points, and of course at no point will I pretend to be perfect - we all make mistakes. We are a kitchen manufacturer and rather interestingly, he has been off all this week on holiday and surprise surprise, I felt much better. Although I did find myself constantly thinking about his return and what hell I'm likely to be lined up for when that happens. I also found myself making sure I addressed some of the smaller things he mentioned before he went away as it's likely to be those he'll check up on his return and then call me in to the office to create more atmosphere and issues about them.

In response to the questions I have received:

No, I haven't discussed this with anyone senior, HR, in fact anyone other than in conversation with some other members of staff. It seems to be accepted that this is the way he is and things will never change. The reason for not discussing it is that I don't believe it will (a) do any good and (b) there are only 2 other managers on site and I don't believe any issue would get resolved - it would probably compound the issue and make the position untenable.

No, I am not a member of a union, perhaps that would be the ideal first port of call. I have come to a forum to get advice/opinions (some of which did cheer me up), and perhaps would get a face-to-face opinion and advice from a union. Of course it's interesting to see what opinions you guys may have.

I have now started to make photocopies of any documents I need to hand to him, so if he claims I never handed them I can present a copy. I am also considering either writing down any instructions he gives me in a pad, and/or obtaining a dictation machine of some kind to record any conversations I have with him. This was the last thing I wanted to do, and I seriously can't believe I am considering doing this, or the fact that I have had to start making copies of documents. Opinions on any of this?

Any decent HR professional would have advised your employer to get rid of this manager long before now, as he is a liability in terms of the employer's compliance with health and safety at work legislation and litigation. Sadly, the reality is that for every one decent HR professional, you will have at least four who are next to useless and see such behaviour as "dynamic management". Strange, the courts have not taken that view as Deutschebank and two NHS trusts have found to their cost with damages and costs totalling £250,000 - £4,000,000.

You have a right to work in a safe environment and your employer has a statutory duty to ensure you work in an environment that is safe and not a hazard to your health. I do not subscribe to the fob off that you can always change jobs. Get real. Where problems are being caused by an employee, regardless of their position, who is a bully, it is better to get rid of the bully than risk health and safety inspectors crawling all over you and/or litigation. It has been found that bullies also bully employers as well as other employees.

[leclerc]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

Personally, I'd look for another job because why stay in a place that makes you so unhappy and creates added stress?

[bluebottle]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

Personally, I'd look for another job because why stay in a place that makes you so unhappy and creates added stress?

Trouble is, Leclerc, we don't know if that is an option for the OP.

[andy15593]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

Hi guys

Just a quick update, I've been making copies of any paperwork that must be processed from me through him (in case he claims I've not done it). It almost came to that from some stock ordering I carried out last week which he processed this week upon his return, when he asked if I had ordered xyz and then seemed to argue against me.

I have also been making a log of thins he's said/done/accused me of which I will keep updated.

The most concerning thing though, is that today he declared his intention to "shadow" me next week. In his words, the aim:

"is to see what you're doing, how you're spending your day, see what you're doing with the paperwork and how much time is taken up chasing things you shouldn't be chasing. I can then put it all into your job description and task things for you daily. It also means that if you're off for a day, or a week, I can arrange cover easier."

In other words, it sounds like he wants to do a time/motion project on me. Nobody else is having this done, no other departments or individuals. From my experience a time/motion is done to justify the position, the salary of a position, or to manage somebody out of a business. And should the time/motion be carried out by someone independent?

Any thoughts?

[bluebottle]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

I am of the opinion this manager needs to be very careful as his behaviour is bordering on harassment, especially if he is subjecting only you to this alleged time and motion study. Keep the diary up to date as it may well come in handy at some later date if matters escalate. You should now consider joining a trade union as most provide legal advice/representation to members where required.

[leclerc]

Re: I think my new boss is a passive-aggressive manager

I think this may actually be a good thing as the manager can advise what tasks that they are doing they may be better done by a different team. Shadowing someone should mean that they advise and provide advice as to the way that they would do the job.

It's a positive potentially.